Let’s take our bibles and turn to Matthew chapter 18. I want to speak on the parable of the unmerciful servant, a message I’ve called Time to Forgive. I wonder if there’s someone in your life that you need to forgive, and it’s time to do it based on the love of God for you in the Lord Jesus Christ, and the ethics of the gospel, that we who have had our trespasses forgiven ought to forgive those who have trespassed against us. Jesus wants to teach us that in this parable, Matthew 18 verse 21, time to forgive. Let’s take time to read the word. “Then Peter came to Him and said, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you up to 7 times, but up to 70 times 7.’
Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one who was brought to him, who owed him 10,000 talents, but as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold with his wife, and children, and all that he had, and that payment be made. The servant therefore fell down before him saying, ‘Master, have patience with me and I will pay you all.’ Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt. But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him 100 denarii, and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat saying, ‘Pay me what you owe.’ So, his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will pay you all,’ and he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt.
So, when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant. I forgave you all that debt because you begged me? Should you not also have compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due him. So, my heavenly Father also will do to you, if each of you from his heart does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” So reads God’s word. In his book on forgiveness, Gary Unrig tells the story of a man who was bitten by a dog, and it was discovered later that the dog had rabies. It was a rabid dog.
And so, the man was rushed back the hospital to be tested, and after a series of tests it was discovered that indeed he had been infected by rabies. And the doctor broke the bad news and basically said, “Look, there’s limited treatment for this. More than likely you’re going to die a slow, agonizing death. And our advice would be to set your affairs in order.” As you can imagine, man was taken back, he slumped back on the bed. The doctor and nurses thought they’d give him a little bit of space just to absorb the terrible news, and after several minutes the man asked for some paper and some pen. Sometime later, the doctor came back into the cubicle and saw the man writing feverishly, and said, “Well, I’m glad to see that you’re putting your affairs in order. I guess you’re working on your will.” To which he said, “No, not at all. I’m writing a list of people I want to bite before I die.”
Now we laugh, but it’s no laughing matter, because the fact is that many of us as men live and die, live and die with a kind of list like that written in our own minds. A list of friends, fr enemies and enemies, who have broken our hearts, wounded our spirits, and through betrayal have fractured our trust. Sometimes the list is without names, it’s more of a poisoned pen letter marked by general accusations and bitterness, just about life in general, and how society has hurt us or let us down and we’re bitter about it. And the sad fact is that this disposition of revenge and resentment destroys marriages, divides families, devours churches, and destabilizes society. This is the age of rage. In fact, research shows us that much of our sadness, and even some of our illnesses, are tied to smoldering bitterness and an unforgiving spirit. Mark Twain, the essayist, said. “This anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored, than to anything on which it is poured.”
It’s true. In fact, Gary Unrig in his book on forgiveness goes on to say this, “There are more lawyers than doctors in the United States.” One cynic has suggested that it’s because Americans are more interested in getting even than getting better. That could be true, and it’s a sad reality. I think we all know this to be true, I agree myself that bitterness can come naturally to me and you, forgiving a hurt, overlooking a wrong, turning away from an offense, that comes in supernaturally. The reality is that you and I would rather sit on a judgment seat than on a mercy seat. C.S. Lewis, the great professor at Oxford University in England said this, “Forgiveness is a beautiful word until you have someone to forgive.” We love the idea of forgiveness in theory, we love to be the recipients of forgiveness, but giving it? That’s tough. It’s hard.
I don’t find that it comes naturally. It must be produced supernaturally by a work of the spirit. Why is it so hard? Well, I wrote three things down here by way of introduction. It’s hard because our flesh, our unredeemed nature, likes to exact its pound of flesh. I had to read The Merchant of Venice for English literature at high school, and I didn’t read it that much, but I do remember there’s some guy in the story looking a pound of flesh. He’s looking revenge. He wants justice. See, our flesh likes to exact a pound of flesh. Our flesh is selfish, it’s very protective about us, and it doesn’t take kindly to being defrauded or injured, and it will strike back.
Number two, we live in a world marked by payback. We live in a world that prefers the ethic of an eye for an eye rather than love your enemy. We live in a world where you repay evil with evil, never with good. We live in a world where we get to channel our inner Dirty Harry, just go ahead and make my day. Just re-watched that recently. I think I enjoyed it too much, that was the problem. There’s a little bit of Dirty Harry in all of us that needs to come under the lordship of Jesus Christ. Number three, forgiveness seems unjust. This is the one we get hung up on I think more than anything. Forgiveness seems unjust. It can’t be right to overlook wrong, to forgive wrong. It can’t be just to go easy on an injustice.
It smacks of the re-victimization of the victim of a crime, or an injury, or a wrong. To forgive is surely to an evil and encourage more injury, and more injustice, because we’re making it easy for the prep, the traitor of the injustice. I think those three things among others get in the way of us following the teaching of the Lord Jesus here, and yet as hard as it is, as forgiven people we must be forgiving. In fact, if you were to take one statement away from this sermon today, it would be this, forgiven people are forgiving people, and we have been forgiven much. The church is best placed in the world to be a forgiving community because we are a redeemed people. Now, listen to these striking words by R.V.G. Tasker, who was a professor of New Testament studies in the University of London.
He said this quote, “The community of Christ is first and foremost the community of the redeemed. It owes its very existence to the forgiveness made possible by Christ’s death. It is the fellowship of men and women for whom Christ died. There is therefore led upon every member the paramount duty of forgiving the personal wrong that may have been done to him. Once the willingness to forgive is abandoned, the reason to be of the Christian fellowship is lost. The society of the forgiven has no meaning if those who belong to it are unforgiving.” That’s challenging.
The church is a forgiven community. We exist because of the grace of God, and when you and I withhold that grace to others who have offended us, we cease to be why we have been brought into existence for. It’s challenging. The forgiven ought to be forgiving. Ephesians 4:32, “Forgive another as God in Christ has forgiven you.” In fact, if you go behind the teaching of Matthew 18 to the teaching of Jesus in the Lord’s prayer, he teaches us to pray, “Lord, forgive us our debts as we forgive those who have committed a debt against us.” Guys, we cannot withhold from others surely that which God has so freely given to us. The hypocrisy of that, the wrong of that, the stench and stink of that. Grace is the gift that keeps on giving. See, we receive grace, and we operate in grace, and we give grace.
God does not pour his grace into us so that we become a dead sea, taking in His blessing but not giving them out. We must be a conduit of grace. The forgiven must be forgiving. Just recently I preached in the Seattle area, and I had lunch with the pastor of the church I was preaching in, a very, very large church up in that area around Bellevue. And as we sat over lunch, he told me about the fact that there was a young man in the church he took under his wings, and he mentored him, and he discipled him. In fact, he married him to his daughter. And then the young man betrayed his daughter, betrayed him and divorced his daughter. Imagine the hurt? He admitted it, the anger. Here’s a young man he took into his home, and then made him part of the home, and he destroyed the happiness of his daughter.
He said, “Philip, it was very hard to forgive. I became bitter and angry. My soul soured for a season, until I read something that Paul Tripp said.” And he said this, “Paul Tripp made this statement, ‘No one will ever sin against you more than you have sinned against God.'” It’s a great statement, and it’s at the heart of what we’re about to teach. No one will ever sin against you and me more than we have sinned against God, and if God has forgiven us such sin by his grace, for the sake of the glory of Christ and the testimony of the gospel, may we forgive those who have sinned against us. So, let’s pick up this teaching of the Lord Jesus here, Matthew 18:21 to 35, we’re in our series in the parables of Jesus. Here’s the parable of the unmerciful servant. Here we find instruction on the problem, peril, and paradox of unforgiveness.
Let’s put the in its context, chapter 18 verse 21. Notice how it begins, then. “Then Peter came to Him.” The word then carries the idea of shortly afterward, shortly after what? Shortly after Jesus’ teaching in verses 15 through 20 on how to deal with a sinning brother. The whole issue of church discipline, the whole issue of how you and I work through reconciliation in the church when you and I have been offended. So, Jesus has taught already on reconciliation, on the forgiving of a brother who has offended us, and the steps necessary to bring that to a good and godly conclusion. And so, Peter then picks this idea of reconciliation up. Now, there’s three things I want us to see. The probe, the parable, the point. The probe is Peter’s question. “Lord, how many times should we forgive?” And Jesus answers that question with a parable, and then out of the parable Jesus makes this point, “You better forgive others like your heavenly Father has forgiven you.”
So, let’s look at these three things quickly. The probe, the admonition of Jesus regarding gaining a brother triggers Peter to think about the issue of forgiveness, and the issue is this, how often, how much? Peter knows instinctively that, “Hey, I’m a follower of Jesus Christ so I ought to forgive, and the Lord just told us how to deal with an offense within the church, but I got a question. How often, how much?” That’s verse 21. And then Peter came to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? What about seven times?” Jesus did not mention the word forgiveness in the preceding teaching, but it was implied. And so, Peter’s proposal, as he probes this question of forgiveness is this, what about forgiving seven times?
Now, by the way, a little bit of background, that was quite a generous offer. That was an act of a magnanimity on the part of Peter, because if you go into the background, the leaders in the Jewish community, the cultural norm was forgive three times. So Peter goes, “Hey, you know what? I’m going to double it and add one for good measure.” And I guess he’s thinking Jesus will pat him on the back and go, “You know, way to go.” But that’s not the case. No doubt Peter was surprised and shocked when Jesus rebuffed it, and then recalibrated it. “No Peter, not 7 times, but 70 times 7.” Again, I’m not going to spend a lot of time on this, but when you go into the language behind that, that’s simply forgive without measure. It’s not like you stop forgiving at 490, and then you go back to not forgiving at 491. That’s not the point. “Peter, no, not 7. Hey, 70 times 7.”
It’s just a way of saying forgiveness has no quota, forgiveness has no limits. Forgiveness is not a matter of counting, forgiveness is a matter of Christian character. That’s the point Jesus is making. In fact, Leon Morris says in his commentary, “When you and I start counting, we are already on the wrong path.” Now, before we deal with what forgiveness is, ever so briefly, I was challenged by this thought, came to me as I was studying this week, there’s nothing normative about the gospel. There’s nothing normative about Christian ethics, because here’s Peter going, “You know what, Lord? I’ve been told in rabbinical classes that you forgive three times.”
They cannot take and misuse some language from the prophecy of Amos where the Lord talks about Israel’s enemies, and after the third and fourth time they get punished. And Peter’s thinking, “Hey, being a Christian, I’m going to raise the bar. We’re a cut above the rest, and so, we’ll double out an add one for good measure.” And Jesus says, “No. 70 times 7,” no limit, no quota. The gospel in its implications, and then in its expression, is not normative. It’s to be radical. It’s way beyond the average. Listen guys, Christianity does not intend to make us a little bit better than most of our friends and family.
That’s not how you measure it, and yet that’s how you measure it. That’s how we measure it sometimes where we are trying to make ourselves feel good or look good, and we go, “Well, yeah, I’m above average on that. I’m better at that than most,” but that’s not the measure. That falls short of God’s glory in the gospel. If you go to Matthew 5, Jesus says this in chapter 5, verse 43, “You have heard it said you shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy, but I say to you love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be the sons of your Father in heaven, for He makes the sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and He sends his rain on the just and the unjust.
For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore, you should be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.” You notice the language of Jesus there? You need to be doing much more than others are doing, because the gospel transforms, the gospel changes us. That little word more highlights Christian excellence and extravagance.
“But Lord, what about 7 times?” “No, Peter. 70 times 7.” The Christian is to do more than others, far more than others, much more than others. Why? Because guys, as men in Christ, we are much more than others. We have the spirit of God living within us. We have the life of God coursing through our lives, calling us to that which is greater and best, and that which reflects the extravagance of God’s love for us in the gospel. I love the story I’ve told you before of David Livingstone talking to Spurgeon one day in London, and just taking in the breadth and depth of Spurgeon’s life and ministry, and he says, “I don’t know how you do it. Between the church, between the orphanages, between the books you write, between the seminary you run. I mean, on any given day you seem to do the work of two men,” to which Spurgeon replied famously, “You forget there are two of us.”
Spurgeon and the indwelling spirit. And so, when it comes to forgiving people extravagantly, when you’re being grievously hurt, it’s not just you trying to do it to be a little bit better than most, there’s two of you. It’s the spirit of God within you, helping you, changing you, enabling you to do that. The Christian is called to rise above the average, the Christian is called to be uncommon. What do you more than others? Is your life uncommon? Is your work ethic uncommon? Is your marriage uncommon? Is your interactions with others and your level and depth of forgiveness uncommon? It should be, because the Christian is more than others, because the Christian in Christ is more than any man.
Years ago in Belfast I heard Stephen Alford, who’s now with the Lord, a very well-known speaker of a generation ago, appreciated his ministry and I went to this hotel to hear him speak, and he said something that’s lingered with me for many, many years and it came back as I was thinking about this idea of what do you more than others? And he said that day in Belfast, “If you can explain it, God didn’t do it.” And I’ve thought about that statement. On the one hand, I don’t think that Alford is normalizing the miraculous. I don’t think that’s what he’s saying, that everything about us is a miracle. But I do think he was saying this, that when a man comes in Christ he’s a new creature, and old things pass away and things become radically different. So transformed is he, so transformative is he in his behavior, that what he is and what he does requires a divine explanation given what he was before he met Christ. That’s the challenge.
I hope that your forgiveness and my love for others, and the grace that we show requires a divine explanation. It’s not the fruit of self reform, or discipline, or human kindness, it’s more than that. Now, before we get into the parable, which I’m not going to deal with a great length because it’s a very simple, straightforward story, you’ll be glad to know, but let’s define forgiveness.
Peter’s talking here about, “Lord, how many times should we forgive? Up to 7 times?” What does the word forgiveness means? It means to release, or to let go. If you look at verse 27 in the story, Jesus tells them, “The master of that servant was moved with compassion.” Notice this, “Released him, and forgave him the debt” That’s what forgiveness is, it carries an idea of releasing, of letting go of a wrong, or forgiving a debt, or forgoing the need to get even. It’s surrendering the entire situation to the Lord, and allowing Him to bring final justice where you don’t spend your life seeking a pound of flesh. That’s what it is. Let me tell you what it’s not, because forgiveness is a word that is often uttered but seldom understood, and more often misunderstood. Forgiveness is not forgetting what happened, that’s impossible to do. Forgiveness is not saying that what the person did to you was right. No, it was very much wrong.
Forgiveness is not saying it didn’t hurt, and it didn’t wound. Forgiveness is not excusing what happened. There may be a place where you forgive someone personally and still seek lawful justice for the good of society. Forgiveness is not becoming a doormat, it’s not pretending it didn’t happen, it’s not erasing all the consequences, and it’s not the same as reconciliation. A wife that’s been betrayed in marriage perhaps, or possibly the other way around, a man that’s been betrayed in marriage, they can forgive, but it will take time to rebuild the trust to enjoy full reconciliation. So, I just want you to understand that when we talk about forgiveness we need to understand what it is, but we also need to clearly understand what it’s not, because there’s a lot of misunderstanding. Now, let’s move on to the parable. As I said, not going to deal with this in any extensive way.
The story’s pretty simple and straightforward. In fact, it’s very much a common form of rabbinic parables, a story involving a king, his servants, and his sons. It really doesn’t need a lot of clarification. It’s simple, but it’s shocking, and that’s the point of the story. It has a shock of value to it, because on the one hand you’ve got the king who wants to settle his accounts, wants to reconcile his books. And one of his servants is found to owe him a great debt, and when he’s brought before the king and asked to pay back his debt of 10,000 talents, we’ll get into that in a moment, he can’t. And initially the king is about to sell him into slavery and take ownership of whatever assets he has, and the man falls at the king’s feet and pleads for mercy. And amazingly, the king is moved by compassion and he releases him of his debt, and he forgoes prison, and he gets back to his life and livelihood.
But then the story goes on to say, “As soon as that guy is released,” there’s certainly within a short period of time, “he encounters a friend, a fellow servant, who owes him 100 denarii.” And you’ve got similar language, because that’s the point. A comparison is being made. And that man can’t pay that debt, and so, he pleads for mercy. And in this case he doesn’t receive mercy. Amazing. The guy doesn’t reciprocate to someone on a lesser debt what he enjoyed from the king on a greater debt, and he has the guy thrown in prison in a merciless act. And then, fellow servants hear about this and they go, “Can you believe that? That’s wrong?” And they’re grieved, and they go and tell the king about what the servant he forgave did to the other servant, and the king hauls him back in, finds out that that story is true, it’s not hearsay, and he has him thrown in prison until he pays his debt or he is tormented by the torturers.
Here’s the basics of the story. There’s an unpayable debt, which is canceled through unbelievable mercy, which is accepted and then abused by the king’s servant in an act of unspeakable hypocrisy. Let me say that again. There’s an unpayable debt, which is canceled through unbelievable mercy on the part of the king. It’s accepted, but then it’s abused by the king’s servant in an act of unspeakable hypocrisy. That’s the gist of the story. It’s simple, but it’s shocking, and let me give you the comparison that’s being made. I’m going to let Gary Unrig do the math for us, because we want to gauge, there’s an astronomical distinction and difference in the debt that the king removed compared to the debt the servant was unwilling to forgive.
Listen to Gary Unrig. “One such individual owes the king 10,000 talents. Even in our day of incredible salaries paid to athletes and entertainers, this is an enormous sum. A talent was a weight of money equal to 6,000 denarii. Since a working man received one denarius a day, one talent was the equivalent to 20 years wages, conservatively a quarter of a million dollars in today’s terms. Here is a man who owes 10,000 of these, a debt of over $2 billion. Here is a man who has been looting the king’s treasury on a scale that would be envied by Fernando Marques.” Then he goes on to compare it to this other man who owes 100 denarii. “This man owes 100 denarii, a considerable sum of perhaps $3,000. More importantly, it’s exactly one 600th,” or sorry,” one 600, 000th of what he had just been forgiven.” The amount is trivial in the light of what he had owed, and besides, he doesn’t need the money. Hadn’t he been forgiven? And that’s why the story has such a shock value.
There’s just unspeakable hypocrisy here. How can you take on the one hand from the king, and withhold on the other hand to your fellow servant? Brings us to what we call the point, verse 35. “So my heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you from his heart does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” The parable is followed by a gospel slap to the cheek of such bold-faced hypocrisy. Disciple, who had been pardoned of the unpardonable, does not forgive others, will meet with God’s displeasure and discipline. Again, we don’t need to get hung up on the idea of the torturers or the tormentors, I don’t think that’s an allusion to hell. I think that’s an allusion to God’s displeasure and discipline in the lives of those who, don’t forget, who claim to be his children.
And you get the point. We are like the servant before the king. You and I owe God an astronomical debt, where we were born with a sin nature, and we have lived our lives sinfully. To use the words of Genesis 6, “Mankind and man can be evil in every thought and imagination.” In our actions and our thoughts we have sinned against God. We don’t even know how much we have sinned against God, that the meter is running on that and our debt is astronomical. So much so that it would take the death of the sinless Son of God in an act of substitution on the cross to remove that debt. And God has removed that debt. Isn’t that a wonderful thing? As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our sin from us. Or 2 Corinthians 8 verse 9, “Though he was rich, yet for our sakes he became poor. That we, in our poverty, in our debt to God may be made rich by His grace through the work of the Lord Jesus Christ.”
Ephesians 2 verses 4 through 7, “That God in his great love has loved us and shown us mercy. We, who we’re dead in our sins, are now made alive in Jesus, and there’s going to come a time in the future when throughout the ages He’s going to show us the riches of His grace.” Extravagant, undeserved, it’s ours. And so, like the man in the story, we have received God’s extravagant forgiveness, and patience, and grace. But unlike the man in the story, we need then to share that with others. We, who have been forgiven, must show that in forgiving those who wrong us at a much lesser level. Remember what that pastor said to me over lunch in Seattle? The thing that helped him get past the hurt of the betrayal of his son-in-law was the words of Paul Tripp, that no one will ever sin against you in the manner in which you have sinned against God.
And if God is willing to forgive you that sin, you must be willing to forgive them their sin. Isn’t that what we’re taught? I quoted it, but I’ll go there so we just read the text and hear the words of Ephesians 4 verse 32, where Paul makes this analogy. “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice, and be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another even as God in Christ has forgiven you.” Here’s Paul’s point, here’s Jesus teaching in the parable, forgiveness toward others ought to be in direct proportion to the amount you have been forgiven in the gospel. That’s astronomical. So no one, and I say no one in my life or your life who sins against us should not receive our forgiveness, because they will never sin against us in a manner greater than the sin you and I have committed against God, and in His grace He has forgiven us. And now we do much more than others, because Christ lives within us.
We are not just forgiven, we are regenerate. See, when you and I become Christians, we not only have our sins forgiven, we’re regenerate, we’re made alive, we’re indwelt by the Holy Spirit, we become a new man with a new nature. We’ve got a new heart, and that new heart, patterned after the gospel and the likeness of Jesus, is willing to forgive others in a way that the old heart never would or never could.
And that’s Paul’s point. It’s not that we’re just forgiven, we’re to forgive others as God has forgiven us. Notice the phrase in Ephesians 4, we covered it, in Christ. We’re men in Christ. And He’s not only the source of our forgiveness, He provides the strength for us to forgive in a manner in which we ourselves have been forgiven. God’s mercy, guys, puts us under obligation. We are obliged to forgive, because we have received such mercy. As Jesus’ story says, how can this man take such generosity and grace from the king, and withhold it from the servant who owns us and owes him a scintilla of what he owed the king?
Forgiveness is one, guys, as we head towards the close, forgiveness is one of the essential marks of the kingdom. If you go to Colossians 3, Paul what he had told the Ephesians, chapter 3 verse 13, “Bearing with one another and forgiving one another. If anyone has a complaint against a brother, even as Christ forgave you, so you must do also.” The evidence of being truly forgiven is a forgiving spirit. In fact, Jesus tells us in Matthew 6 to pray this way, “Lord forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” And then He goes on in commentary in verses 14 and 15 of Matthew 6 to say, “If you don’t forgive those who have trespassed against you, God won’t forgive you your trespasses.”
Jesus isn’t teaching works salvation, but He has reminded us we’re not just forgiven as believers, we’re regenerate. We’re indwelt by the Holy Spirit who brings about new affections and new actions. We’ve got a new heart, and that heart will forgive. We’re not saved by faith alone, but saving faith is never alone. This is the action of the true Christian. And while we all struggle to forgive, and we all have struggled to forgive, that’s one thing, but a life, continuous behavior of bitterness, unforgiveness and harshness is perhaps a telltale sign that we are not forgiven ourselves, that we’re not regenerate, that we’re not a believer. Because the forgiven will be forgiven forgiving. One cannot go to the cross and remain bitter, just can’t do it. And unforgiving. To forgive is the logic of Calvary. The source of our forgiveness is God’s forgiveness.
The secret of our ability to give is the enablement of God’s grace and forgiveness. The Christ who lives in us seeks to live out from us, changing our behavior. And so like Him, and through Him, we forgive others. Jesus forgave the woman caught in adultery, and He now lives in you, enabling you to do the same. Jesus forgave those who stood around the cross and mocked Him. He now lives in you. You’re a man in Christ, and He wants to produce that grace in you towards others. Jesus forgave Peter’s act of betrayal. In fact, I was thinking about this just before I came out this morning, getting back over in my notes. Here’s Peter arguing with the Lord Jesus, or at least engaging the Lord Jesus in a discussion. “What about 7 times? Is that enough?” “Well, Peter, if you look at your own life, you know that’s not enough.”
In fact, I wrote this down. What about Peter, like the other disciples, forbid the children to come to Christ and was rebuked. Peter tried to stop the Lord from going to the cross. Peter denied the Lord with curses. Peter lost his faith on the water, and in the boat, and became afraid. Peter fell asleep during Jesus’ darkest hour in Gethsemane. Peter cut off Malchus’ ear. Peter sided with the Judaizers, and Paul had to rebuke him in the book of Galatians. There’s seven sins already that Jesus forgave in Peter’s life. I think Peter is glad the Lord doesn’t forgive up to seven times, and now the Lord’s asking Peter to reproduce that in his life, and asking you and me to reproduce that in our life.
You can’t go to the cross and remain bitter and unforgiving. You may have heard the story of Leonardo da Vinci, the great Italian painter, who was working on a canvas. And some little boys were watching him, and one of them knocked over some stuff in his studio, and he lost it and he just tore into them, so much so that the little guys scattered in fear, run out into the street. It is said that Leonardo da Vinci went back to painting, he was painting the face of Christ and he could no longer do it. He couldn’t look into the face of Christ and continue given what he had just done, which was so unlike Christ. And so, he put his paint brush down and left his easel, went out onto the street and found the little fellows, and asked for their forgiveness for his harshness, and then he went back to work.
It’s hard to look into the face of Jesus with bitterness in your heart, unforgiveness in your spirit. How can you do that, guys? How can I do that? Such hypocrisy. How can you pray, “Lord, forgive us our trespasses,” if you’re not willing to pray, “as we forgive those who trespass against us”? We’re not to be some spiritual Dead Sea that keeps receiving and receiving without giving and giving. Let me finish with this. Forgiveness is a road called Calvary. Unforgiveness, on the other hand, is the path to torment and unhappiness. Again, we don’t need to read too literally into the story of the fact that this guy was put in prison under the supervision of torturers or tormentors. The simple point is that unforgiveness meets with God’s displeasure and God’s discipline. And so it will be the case in your life and mind.
If we get off the road called Calvary, which enables us to forgive like God has forgiven us, and we get onto that path of unforgiveness, it will lead to torment and unhappiness. The invitation to forgive in the light of God’s great mercy is accompanied by a warning here by the Lord Jesus. There is a cost to forgiveness, no doubt, to absorb that pain, to absorb that cost, to absorb that wound, and by the grace of God release that person from that debt. There is a cost to forgiveness, but there is a greater cost to unforgiveness. You’ll be glad you forgave. Someone has said that forgiveness is like passing a kidney stone. It hurts like crazy, but you feel better when it’s gone. And I think that’s true. There is a cost of forgiveness, but there is an even greater cost to unforgiveness. Unforgiveness imprisons us to the past. It’s hard to move forward when you’re a bitter person. Forgiveness, unforgiveness enslaves us to the person we hate. They get to revictimize us all the time. Unforgiveness eats us alive from the inside out with ulcers and high blood pressure.
It robs us of our sleep, it steals our Christian testimony. It kills our joy, it murders the life of the spirit within. In his book, Lee: The Last Years, Charles Flood reports that after the Civil War, Robert E. Lee visited a Kentucky lady who took him to the remains of a grand old tree in the front of her house. She was bitter, she was angry, and she showed him the limbs and the trunks of that grand old tree that was the centerpiece of her house and her property that had been destroyed by federal artillery. And after she gushed her bitterness out, she looked to Lee for a word of condemnation regarding the north, or at least some sympathy at her loss, some understanding of her hurt. Robert E. Lee stood there, and after a brief silence he said, “Cut it down, Madam, and forget it. Cut it down, Madam, and forget it.”
See, the book of Hebrews warns us about the root of bitterness and the fruit that it brings. That’s unhappiness. This stealing of our joy, this robbing of our Christian testimony, this killing of the work of God within. Brothers, when it comes to whatever root of bitterness is at work in your life regarding a family member, a spouse, a co-worker, a classmate, a neighbor, fellow church member, uproot that root of bitterness, cut that rotten tree down and remember that God has forgiven you much. And to whom much is given, much is required. It’s time to forgive.
Lord, we thank you for your word. Challenging. And we understand the logic of it, we get the theology of it. It makes complete sense, that we who are a redeemed community should be a forgiving people. It makes complete sense that the forgiven ought to be forgiving. Yet our flesh fights against the spirit. At times we like to play the martyr. We like to nurse our hurts and our wounds. We use the unrepentance of others to withhold forgiveness from the heart. And we realize, Lord, when that happens in our lives it’s because we have ceased magnifying the grace of God. We have ceased to walk in the spirit. We have ceased to remember that there are two of us dealing with this situation, and the indwelling Christ can enable us to do that which would be naturally avoided.
That which is above the norm, that which others are so unwilling to do we are able to do because of the extravagant grace of God, and the marvelous work of the gospel in our lives. Lord, help us to really take this message to heart and take it home. There’s too many angry men in the church and in the world. Lord, help us indeed to be like the Lord Jesus, who loved His enemies and forgave those who despitefully used Him. We want to look like Him, not like our old selves, not like the world. Help us to root up that bitterness. Help us to release others, and enjoy a freedom ourselves for Jesus’ sake. Amen.